12.31.2013

Change | 2013 Part 2

Every minute of everyday, I realize how unpredictable life truly is. Every-day, I am a new person and immediately regret things I said or did.
But thanks to all those seemingly worthless mistakes, I am new.
I always hope that somehow, a new year provides a fresh start, although it sometimes feels like one is carrying around a heavy load which just continues to grow with every hour
until you realize that changing your mind is okay
and you finally leave the load behind
that was you yesterday
this is you today
in the words of Tumblr “ You’re under no obligation to be the same person you were five minutes ago”
There is so much life left. But not enough.
There was something the doctor said in the last episode that really struck me : “ We all change. When you think about it, we’re all different people all through our lives. And that’s okay. That’s good. You gotta keep moving, so long as you remember all the people that you used to be."
It scared me to think that sometimes I couldn’t remember
I have to think really hard, and feel as if I’ve lost so much of myself
But you are now the summation of all the other you’s. You don’t have to remember, because you are living proof of all your other lives. A three-year old learning how to braid, a 13 year old struggling through algebra, an 18 year old questioning life.
I’m excited to see what my next lives will bring.
My friend Hubert told me to write a list last year of all the things I wanted to accomplish in 2013, a list I am currently searching for.
Sigh, every little thing I ever hid has been trashed. Oh the perks of leaving home.
I have faith that old me tried to accomplish all the things on that list. I can recall a few that will be left for my future lives, but there are others I know I achieved. Thank you for telling me to do that Hubert. I will write one again this year, in my moleskin this time, so I hopefully will not lose it.

And fear not, because I may literally be posting all day, there are just so many more things left to say about the New Year. 

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